What do you normally do if, at the workplace, if someone responds to your e-mail with a sharp critique, copying others in your department and your boss? Or, if a customer makes a professional swipe at your companies product or solution ? Or, if someone interrupts you at a meeting to shoot down your idea ? Or, when a group of people are selected to discuss an upcoming project and you’re not invited? 

Offices are kind of like families — you’re thrust into close relationships with people and it and provides for all kinds of opportunities for conflict, whether real or imagined. Quite frequently ‘imagined,’ because there’s actually less personality conflict than people think.

When any individual at any level is being professionally affronted and/or personally slighted at work – an immediate and common response will be to either retort back with violence or feel hurt and get into silent/sulk mode.

The moot point here when you are faced with a legitimate criticism, misunderstanding, and personality clash or something in between you should treat it as if there were no personal component at all. The best course of action for dealing with such situation is not to let them make us angry - segment the issue, the person, the emotion and focus on what you really really want moving forward.

That’s asking a lot. I know. If you keep your mouth shut, no one can ever know how you really feel. You have to suppress your natural inclination and bite your tongue. But once you appreciate the payoff of saying nothing – you cannot make an ass out of yourself or make an enemy out of someone else.

Next time when responding to such a tricky situation, just remember before your respond with anger, just pause and think – you will find out that the root of anger is not “out there” but “in here”.

If you relate to these situations, let me know your comments/insights /anecdotes on how can we can do better conduct ourselves in the face of perceived “personal” provocations.